Alphonse Elric secret cupid
by redshadowalchemist
Summary: When Roy tells Ed they're not exclusive Alphonse plots to show the Colonel just how special his brother is. Devious!Alphonse Roy/Ed


Alphonse Elric returned to the military dorm room he shared with his older brother Edward. He opened the door and saw his beloved brother flopped out on his military bunk, curled in a small ball his shoulder shaking with silent sobs.

"Brother?" Alphonse asked hesitantly.  
Edward sat up straight frantically wiping the tears from his eyes. "Nothing I'm fine" he said quickly.  
"Brother" Alphonse said again using the _I know you're talking complete rubbish_ tone.

Ed sighed "you know how Colonel Bastard and I have been…" he trailed off.  
"Yes I know" Alphonse said he knew his brother was gay and didn't care. Instead prioritising making plans to hurt Colonel Mustang for making his beloved brother cry.

"Well that bastard is still going out with a different woman most nights. He says we're not exclusive so it's fine. He's a manipulative jerk and I'm better off without him I don't know why I'm so upset."  
"Because you love him."Alphonse said matter of factly.  
"But why?" Ed asked, Al often wondered himself the Colonel wasn't good enough for his brother.

Later when Ed had gone to sleep Alphonse developed a plan. The Colonel seemed to take all his dates to the same restaurant so pulling off his plan wouldn't be too difficult. Especially after phoning First lieutenant Hawkeye and getting the Colonel's schedule, his next date was tomorrow. The Colonel never went out with the same woman more than once but he and Ed had been together even if not exclusively for three months. This meant that commitment issues or not the Colonel must care for his brother. Alphonse Elric was going to give the Colonel a taste of his own medicine. Make him realise how easy it could be to lose Edward if he wasn't careful.

The next morning Ed was quieter than normal still upset ,as with most days where they had no mission Ed and Al went to the library. Around lunchtime Al rang Russell and Fletcher Tringham who he knew were staying in east city. And arranged to meet them at the same restaurant the Colonel had chosen that night. Stage one complete.

Ed was reluctant not feeling he would be good company at the moment but having never been able to say no to his brother he agreed. When they arrived the Colonel wasn't there yet. Working fast mentioned something he had left at the library, a terrible liar he had deliberately left his notes behind to have an excuse to leave tempting Fletcher to join him by promising to show him some interesting plant alchemy. The meant leaving Ed and Russell alone. Stage two complete.

Colonel Roy Mustang was still frustrated from yesterday, Ed was just a boy he couldn't possibly think their relationship could go anywhere. Ed meant a lot to him, he was proud of the boy but they could never be serious, think about what it would do to his career.  
This night his date was Melinda, a secretary in the legal office. She was a busty red head with sparkling green eyes and an easy smile. And by reputation easy in other ways as well. He could already forsee the evening a nice meal and a bit of flirting followed by a drive back to his apartment and a night of sex.

When he sat down at his table his heart jumped. Sitting at the bar was Edward and a young man he hadn't seen before, a handsome blonde young man. They were deep in an animated conversation although the two seemed to be having a difference of opinion it was a lively discussion rather than the heated arguments Roy and Ed always got into. Luckily Ed hadn't seen him, his companion may have done but his companion did not know who he was so would not care. The boy put his hand on Ed's arm. Roy felt an irrational rush of anger. How dare he touch _his_ Edward.

He shook the anger away and returned to his date. They weren't exclusive and Ed wasn't doing anything wrong. So why did he feel so betrayed? He couldn't focus on what Melinda was saying his eyes kept turning to Edward and the young man. Edward laughed at something the young man had said "Russell you can't say that" he said sniggering. Roy felt like someone had stabbed him in the gut. Roy made a mental note to find out more about this "Russell".

His date was a very flirty woman and he would normally not have had a problem keeping up but he couldn't stop thinking about Edward and that Russell, was this their first date. What if they hit it off? They clearly got on both engaged deep in conversation. What if this Russell would be willing to be exclusive in a way Roy wasn't? Roy felt a surge of panic. What if he lost Edward? He realized he'd clenched his jaw and his hands were shaking. He couldn't lose Edward. Edward was _his._ He turned back to…what was her name Melissa? He smiled, he had to keep up the act could hardly grab his underage subordinate and kiss him staking his claim though that was what he wanted to do. It would ruin both their careers and Ed needed his to restore his younger brother.

"Are you alright?" his date asked him, "you seem distracted. And you've hardly eaten anything."  
"I'm sorry I'm not very good company tonight. A lot came up at work today and I'm still worrying about it." He lied smoothly.  
"You must have so much responsibility" she simpered. Women really liked the fact he was an officer and a war hero.

"So are you seeing anyone at the moment?" Russell asks Edward.  
"I guess not" Edward replied after a pause.  
Roy had to excuse himself to go to the bathroom. He splashed water on his face in effort to calm himself down and avoid setting fire to something.

When he came out of the bathroom both Edward and Russell were gone. He wondered if he'd gone back to Russel's place. The thought of that adolescent boy pawing at his Edward made him feel physically sick.

He told his date he was feeling unwell and promised to call her when he felt better. He returned to his apartment but he couldn't sleep. All he could think about was what Edward was doing with Russell.

Why did he care so much? He liked Ed yes but there were many things about the young alchemist that annoyed him. He was rude with no respect for authority even if he did enjoy provoking the boy to see that cute flush on his cheeks those golden eyes widen in surprise or narrow in anger, so beautiful...oh god. He heart was racing in panic. He couldn't love Ed he just couldn't. Oh but he did. He hadn't even been able to contemplate sleeping with his date, despite how attractive she was he couldn't begin to feel aroused. He'd been too focused on what Ed and that boy were doing,

The next day he falls asleep at his desk. He couldn't sleep all night too busy imagining what Ed and Russell were doing. He hears a knock at the door. Fullmetal enters. It is the first time they meet since Ed had stormed out after Roy had told him he had a date.

Ed refused to look at him staring at the wall above his head instead."I want to go to central" he said stiffly "I believe there is something in the library there that'd help me and Al get our bodies back." His face was red.

"You're a terrible liar Fullmetal." Was the reply.  
He received a glare but at least the gold eyes were on him. His heart felt like it would burst out of his chest.  
"Are you going to let me go or not" he snarled.  
"No"  
"But"  
"Sit down Fullmetal we need to talk."  
"I know we're over already you don't need to try and it's not you its me shit."  
"No Fullmetal please don't go, I need you" Roy yelled his voice panicked as Ed turned to leave.  
Ed turned angrily "very funny bastard, I know you like screwing with people's emotions but..."  
"I saw you last night, with that blonde boy."  
"Blonde boy? Oh you mean Russell. What about it? Jealous?" he smirked mockingly.  
"It hurt" Roy confessed "seeing you with him it hurt a lot. I couldn't focus on my date all I could think about was that you are _mine._" he practically growled the last bit.  
"You really are something you know that, one rule for you another for me. Well fuck off. You utter bastard. I don't know why I lo..." he stopped himself.  
"What?" Mustang insisted.

"Nothing"  
"Tell me."  
"I don't know why I love you." Ed whispered.  
"I love you too" Mustang confessed, "don't see this Russell again, just stay with me and I promise there will be no one else for me either."

Later Alphonse walked in on Ed and Roy in what could be euphemistically called a compromising situation. After banging his head against a wall in a futile attempt to get rid of the images. He grinned. Stage 3 complete.


End file.
